Something Old
by TheShortVampire
Summary: With Gideon's departure and an old face in the BAU, Reid and Renee plan for their future but someone from Reid's past reemerges, bringing memories that he wanted to keep long hidden to the surface. Unable to bring himself to forget the past, Renee pushes him to confront his peers and move forward.
1. Chapter 1

Something Old

Chapter One

Renee sat on the bed, pulling a pair of small black heals on her feet. Her blonde hair was done in a nice but simple bun. She was wearing a black dress that was modest but very nice. She didn't want to draw attention to herself today. It wouldn't be right. She strapped one heal onto her foot and then put the other on her other foot. She pursed her lips and looked up. Reid was standing by the mirror fixing his tie. He too was wearing black. His sweater vest was a nice gray while his shirt was jet black, along with his pants. One of his socks was white while the other was black. He was wearing his normal converses.

Reid turned from the mirror and walked over to a chair were his purple scarf was hanging. He picked it up and put it around his neck. He sighed and looked at Renee. There was that helplessness in his eyes. He only got it when he knew that there was nothing he could do. Renee knew that he wanted to fix everything but some things were beyond fixing. It has been five days since Sarah's murder and today was the funeral. While they didn't know her well, outside of seeing her with Gideon, they were going to pay their respects. That and no one had seen Gideon since they discovered her body in his apartment.

Reid held out his hand and Renee placed her's in his. He pulled her up and brought her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his middle while he placed a kiss on the top of her forehead. Gideon had pulled away from everyone. No one on the team had heard from him. No one felt comfortable, besides Hotch and Reid, to really reach out. However, he ignored their calls. Today, while it was meant to mourn for Sarah, they were also there to see if Gideon was okay.

The team was still off of rotation. They knew that it would be few weeks before they were able to go back into the field. With this being the second time in less than two years that their team was under investigation, it would take longer. The investigation would be more intensive. That also had the questions about Reid and what happened in Georgia. They were dragging everything that happened with Elle and the murder of Lee. There were also hints of the bombing in Boston in the hearings. Plenty of things have happened in the last five days.

Reid took Renee's hand that had her engagement ring on it and lifted it up to his lips. He kissed each of her knuckles before kissing the pearl of her engagement ring. They both looked at the ring and they both knew that they didn't know how to approach the subject with Gideon. Neither wanted to tell him today. Today wasn't about them but it wasn't something that couldn't be ignored either. They didn't want to hide it but they knew that if they simply let the ring on her finger, then Gideon would see it.

They both looked at the ring but neither said anything. It was fulfilling to finally see that ring on her finger that neither wanted to see it gone. They were in a bind. They knew what they should do but it was everything that they didn't want to do. They didn't want to hide their engagement but wanted to shout it from the roof tops instead.

However, time wasn't about them. They needed to be strong for Gideon. Gideon needed time to grieve and they knew that his healing wasn't going to happen over night. Spreading their joyful news wouldn't be very kind to Gideon and Reid respected him to much to take that from him. If they had to bide their time and hold their tongues, to give Gideon time to mourn Sarah, then they will have their moment.

"I don't want to take it off." Renee whispered. Her head leaned in and rested against his chest. She listened to his heart beat and smiled. She inhaled deeply, loving the smell of him. In those moments, when she was settled in his arms, she couldn't not be happy, even though it was a day she was meant to be sad. She lifted her head and Reid looked down at her. He leaned down and kissed her lips.

They sighed. They could hear the ticking of the clock. They knew that they had to leave soon. It was something that neither of them wanted to do but it was something that they had to do. Neither of them wanted to leave their bubble that they have created. While they were sad and worried about Gideon, they couldn't help but indulge in their newly engaged life.

"What if you didn't?" Reid asked. Would it be so bad if Gideon noticed a ring? Everyone knew he was thinking about marriage. Well, they did before the incident in Georgia. Would it be that much of a surprise if Reid got engaged?

"Do you want Gideon to find out this way? At Sarah's funeral?" Renee looked at him straight in the eye. Her eyebrow was raised in question. She knew that he wanted to tell Gideon but he wanted Gideon to be happy for them. It wouldn't be fair for him to learn of their engagement today when he was trying to mourn for someone he loved and lost. It would be like rubbing salt in an open wound.

"No." Reid sighed and deflated. However, his mind was going a mile a minute and the way his eyes were moving, Renee knew that something was going on inside of his head. She could always tell when his never ending thoughts would be useful. "What if you didn't take it off but he couldn't see it?"

"What are you talking about?" Reid smiled and moved away from Renee. He went over to her jewelry box and pulled out a necklace. It wasn't anything special, just a simple pendant necklace that she found at a fair that she went to with Hannah and her grandmother. Reid pulled the pendant off of the chain and brought the chair over to Renee. He held it up, took her hand and slipped the ring off. He put the ring onto the chain and then clasped it around her neck. It hung down over her black dress so Reid took it and slipped it underneath her dress. It was obvious that she was wearing a necklace but what was on the necklace couldn't be seen.

"So simple. I could have thought of this." She smiled gently and brought her hand up to her chest. Her hand rested where she could feel the ring through her dress. She walked over to Reid and kissed him on the lips. They smiled and Reid took her hand.

"It's not on your finger but at least you are wearing it." With that the couple headed out the door. Gideon needed them. When the time was right, they would tell Gideon and they could only hope that he would be happy for them.

2 months later

The jet was practically silent. It was early and they were heading home from Arizona. A case went terribly wrong. They thought they got the killer but there wasn't enough evidence. Having to let him go, the unsub and a young girl ended up dead. While it would have been sad under any type of circumstances, the fact that the team was finally put back into rotation would cause trouble.

Morgan, Reid, Prentiss and JJ sat around the small square table on the jet while Hotch and Gideon were sitting at the back of the jet. They were separate and both were looking out the window. Neither were speaking to each other and they knew what was waiting for them when they all landed back at Quantico.

The team would frequently look back at them but could never make eye contact. They all knew what each other wanted to say but none of them really could bring themselves to say it. Prentiss bite her lip and sighed.

"This is a mess." She said and JJ snorted. Reid smirked while Morgan shook his head. Prentiss smiled widely and shrugged. "What? It is."

"Way to state the obvious Princess." Morgan stated with a small smirk. Prentiss picked up the file that was sitting in front of JJ and smacked Morgan with it. Morgan grabbed a hold of the file but Prentiss wouldn't let go. "Bring it Prentiss."

"Children behave." JJ stated with a small smile. Prentiss dropped the file and leaned back in her chair while Morgan did the same. They lapsed into a familiar silence but it wasn't stranded or awkward as before. They went back to shooting glances toward the two senior agents of their team who were obviously avoiding what was happening but couldn't stop thinking about it either.

"What do you think will happen?" Prentiss stated and looked at JJ. JJ, out of the entire team, knew that inter-workings of the FBI better than the rest of them. She was the one the team went to when a bureaucratic problem needed solving.

"I honestly don't know. We might be taken off rotation again seeing that this is Gideon's third strike." When the rest of them looked at her confused, she elaborated. "Boston, then everything with Frank two months ago and now this. Three big mistakes in less than three years. The higher ups aren't going to ignore that. Plus, Strauss wants Hotch's head on a stick."

"Why?" Reid asked.

"I have no idea." JJ replied. "I don't know if anything will happen to us but we can't rule it out. We were involved but it could be argued that we were just following orders. I don't know how its going to look. Anything could happen at this point."

While not really listening to what the others were saying, Prentiss was lost in her thoughts. She knew Strauss had it out for Hotch but she didn't really understand why. She knew that Strauss was going to hound her for information about this case. Yet, it was in that moment that Prentiss made her decision. She couldn't betray Hotch. While it wouldn't be the first time that she betrayed someone, she couldn't bring herself to do it again.

"So, Spence anything new with you?" JJ asked, hoping to change the subject. Reid looked at her and knew she was hinting at something. JJ was the only person he told that he was thinking about proposing after everything with Georgia happened. Others knew before but she was the only one who knew that he was thinking about it after. She smiled at him and he just glared at her. Morgan looked between the two with confusion. He had no idea what was going on.

"No." Reid stated with a stern glare at her. While it has been two months since he proposed to Renee, they still hadn't told the team. They had gone to her Gran's home and told her along with her younger sister Hannah and her best friend Nora. Reid had called his friend Ethan down in New Orleans and told him that he finally plucked up the courage to ask that big question, leaving out the point that Renee beat him to it. However, telling the team never seemed right. Gideon rarely left the office and Reid didn't want it getting around the office while his mentor was still in such a fragile state. They planned to tell the team, together. If Reid told them now, while on the jet heading toward a future where their careers hung in the balance didn't seem wise to him.

"Wait, Pretty Boy are you-" Morgan began but was cut off.

"So JJ, seeing anyone?" Reid asked and JJ picked up the file that was sitting in front of her. Morgan grinned and focused on the pretty blonde who was avoiding eye contact. Even Prentiss was pulled from her thought to hear this conversation.

"No. I am happily single." JJ stated without looking at them. All three of them stared at her and none of them believed a word of it. JJ used to go out with them but lately she had become more recluse than Reid. She went to Pennsylvania more often to "visit her mother". They were half tempted to ask Garcia to find out if she had been flying but they didn't feel right invading her privacy like that.

Reid, Prentiss and Morgan looked at each other and bit back their smirks. It was hard to keep secrets from profilers because in the end, they would find it out. It was pointless. While they could have things to themselves, it didn't bode well to lie about it. Not to mention when everyone else knew about it.

Harper Hillman looked at herself in the mirror. She was pale and gaunt. Her light blue eyes reflecting the pain that she was in. Her short red hair hung in her face. She moved her left hand and bumped her bottle of pills causing some of them to go down the drain. Harper quickly scooped up what she could before they all went down. She swore loudly. Her doctor wasn't going to be pleased with the fact that she lost her meds. While he would simply give her another prescription, he wouldn't be pleased in doing so.

She took in a deep breath and started to cough. She held her chest because her coughing was causing a sharp pain in her lungs. When her coughing fit died down, Harper looked into the sink and saw the blood that was waiting there. She sighed. It was getting worse and she knew it. She looked toward her bedroom door, hoping that Dean didn't hear her.

Harper closed her eyes and went into the bedroom. Dean was lying on their bed staring at the ceiling. His light brown hair seemed so much darker against the white pillow cases. Harper walked across the room and curled up next to him. Dean moved his arm and wrapped it around her. He sighed. It was that sigh that made Harper know that he had heard her. She tightened her grip on him.

"It's getting worse isn't it?" Dean asked. He didn't looked at her but she could hear the pain in his voice. Harper was quiet for a long time. She didn't want to lie to him but she didn't want to tell him the truth either. She had been battling this for a long time and Dean was always by her side. She loved him and didn't want to hurt him.

"I'm fine." Harper replied. Dean inhaled sharply and withdrew from her. He sat up and got off the bed. He went over to their dresser and looked at a picture of the two of them. It had been taken a few years ago when Harper was healthy. They both were alive and smiling. Now, the they were drained, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"Don't do that. I'm not blind and I'm not deaf. Don't lie to me. Please." Dean turned and looked at her. His face was heartbroken. Harper had to hold back tears. She didn't want to argue with him, the last thing she wanted to do was argue.

"I just hate that you have to see me like this." As much as she loved him Harper wanted him to have an out. Even though it would hurt her, she could never blame him if he left. Granted, Dean really was the only thing she had left. Her mother had died years ago, she never knew her father and had no siblings. Her friendship with Alexa dissolved years ago. Dean was the only person in the world who took her for who she was and loved her for it. Now, he had to watch her die and she didn't want him to see that. Part of her wanted him to leave so she could spare him that pain. "You don't have to be here. You could leave if you wanted."

"Leave? As in breakup? Give me an out? No. Harper. No. I'm here till the end. I love you to much to leave you now." Dean took a deep breath. He stood with his arms crossed. This wasn't the first time Harper tried to get him to leave. He knew better. For as long as he has known her, Harper always played the martyr. She had so much guilt that ate her up inside that Harper felt as though she needed to put everything above herself. She was the most selfless person he knew. She once told him that she deserved this, something that didn't sit well with him.

"What if I did? What if I left?" Harper asked. Dean froze and looked at her. He studied her face to see if she was bluffing. This was new. She never brought this topic up for conversation before. He didn't know how to take it. He didn't know if she was serious.

"Where would you go?"

"I was thinking about heading to D.C." Harper looked at him, hoping to assets his reaction. It was a touchy subject. At first, Dean would listen but after Harper's need to make amends, Dean felt as though she didn't need to make amends. Dean thought she did nothing wrong. He knew what happened and he could see how she felt guilty but she did nothing wrong.

"Not this again Harper. I get that you feel guilty but you did nothing wrong." Dean looked at her helplessly. When Harper first got sick she had hired a private detective to find him and learned that he was working in D.C. She was all set to go out there before she chickened out. She felt as though he wouldn't want to see her. "You don't even know if he is in D.C anymore."

"I have to try."

"Why? You're sick Harper. The travel might be to much. I can't lose you. Not yet." Dean began to pace. His hands ran through his hair and Harper just watched him. Sitting on the bed she simply stared at him. She just didn't understand why this was so hard for him. If Dean was in her position and needed something like this, she would support his decision and help were she could.

"I'm dying Dean." Dean winced but Harper pressed on. "I'm dying and I need to know if there is any possible chance he could forgive me."

"I-" Dean paused and looked at her. He looked at her for a long time and didn't know what to say. Harper waited with baited breath for his reaction. She could see the wheels turning in his head about whether or not to let her go. It wasn't that she needed his permission, but more of his respect to go. When she was healthy, Dean would sent her off in a heartbeat. Telling her to be careful and come back to him when she found what she was looking for. Now, however Dean is so scared that he is going to lose her that sending her off, terrified him. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"On one condition. I go with you." She knew better than to argue with him. In fact, it comforted her to know that he would be there with her. She didn't know how it would go or how it would end but she needed this. She needed to know that before she died, she gave it her best effort to seek forgiveness.

Reid entered the apartment slowly. He sat down his messenger bag and kicked off his shoes. Normally he wouldn't just leave his shoes just by the door, that was more of Renee's motive than his but he was tired. The day was long and it was like the aftermath of Frank all over again. While higher-ups were not as involved this time, Strauss was on a war path. Reid thinks that she was not pleased when the investigation against Hotch and Gideon came back clean.

Renee, who was lying on the couch, popped up when she heard the door open. She was worried. He hadn't been home since the case ended and that was hours ago. From the phone call they shared only hinted that there were issues that needed to be dealt with back at the office. Reid didn't elaborate on what that meant.

The team just got put back onto rotation and seeing that their first case back ended in disaster, she wasn't sure what that could mean for the team. She looked at him and sighed. She could tell that it wasn't good news. He looked tired and worn. Renee went over to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. She rested her head on her chest and listened to his heart beat.

"How bad is it?" She asked. Reid sighed and kissed the top of her head lightly. She would lie and say that she wasn't imagining all the horrible things that could have happened. She imagined everything from Reid getting arrested for something (seeing how she had no idea on what had happened) to him losing his job.

"Bad." Reid paused and pulled away from Renee. He went into the kitchen and opened a cabinet door. He pulled out coffee grounds and began the process of making coffee. "Both Hotch and Gideon are suspended. Two weeks." Renee turned her head down and sighed.

"What about the rest of the team?" She asked and Reid shrugged. He tapped his fingers gently against the counter top. He sighed and looked over at his fiance. He turned so he was fully facing her.

"JJ, Morgan, Prentiss and I are fine. No punishments. Nothing." Renee was puzzled. When Frank had killed Sarah, it was as though everyone was being investigated and they had no control over Frank's actions. Now, they all had some type of control over the situation with this most recent case than they did with Frank. To her, the fact that the other members of the team, including Reid, are getting off without any type of punishment, does not make sense to her.

"Are they going to lose their jobs?" Renee asked. She couldn't imagine the BAU without Gideon or Hotch. She was sure that Reid and Gideon would stay in contact, seeing how close they were. Gideon was like a father to Reid. He wouldn't simply leave him.

"I don't know but Strauss is out for blood." His coffee was done and Reid poured some into his cup and then added his large amount of sugar. He brought the liquid to his lips and sighed. He could never get enough of the glorious drink. It always made Renee smile when Reid got that look on his face when he drank coffee.

"Why? What did Hotch and Gideon do to her?"

"Its more Hotch than Gideon. I'm sure if Hotch left or got fired she would leave Gideon alone. Her issues lies with Hotch." He paused, letting his mind wander and think. He pursed his lips. "I think she feels threatened by Hotch. If he wanted to Hotch could one day take over the FBI and become the director. He could, if he wanted. Strauss sees that and wants that threat out of the way. Strauss is a career climber and she wants to make it to the top."

"I don't like her." Renee stated without hesitation, causing Reid to laugh. Renee smiled lightly and walked over to him, falling into his embrace once again. Reid wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You've never met her."

"Does it matter?"

"No, it doesn't."

**A/N: Can anyone tell that I am setting up for Gideon's departure? What did you think of Harper? I am trying to make her likable but I feel that there would still be plenty of people who don't like her and I am prepared for that. Just remember, what we learned in "Elephant's Memory" is only one side of the story. Anyway, Welcome to "Something Old" **


	2. Chapter 2

Something Old

Chapter Two

JJ was walking down the halls of the BAU. It was the first day that team was able to have another case. Hotch and Gideon were back from suspension, even though Gideon was usually in his office anyway. He kept out of sight but the team knew he was there. They never mentioned the fact that Gideon was still in the office even when Strauss poked her noise into things. Reid would go up to his office and what they would talk about, JJ didn't know. However, whenever she would need Reid for something, and he was in Gideon's office, she would go in there and find the two of them, sitting across each other over a chess bored.

It had been a stressful two weeks without Hotch. None of them heard from him but Hotch was one to follow the rules. If he was told to stay away from the office, he would. However, Gideon wasn't the man he used to be. After the bombing in Boston he started to take every victim more personally. It wasn't that the other team didn't but, it was like every life lost, Gideon blamed himself for. JJ knew that it wasn't healthy. Then after Sarah's murder, it seemed as though his life force was just sucked from him. She didn't even know Sarah existed but now that she was gone, JJ could tell how different she made in Gideon.

Her phone vibrated and JJ paused. She looked at her phone and couldn't help but smile. It was Will. She didn't really understand the reaction she got from his texts and calls. He scared her. Not in the "afraid for your life" type of scare (sadly she was used to that) but more of being scared of what could be. At this point the the relationship is when JJ would run. None of her relationships lasted and she knew it was because of her. She was more afraid of commitment than she was of some unsub.

Maybe it was because their relationship was long distance that it lasted this long. They were going on a year and it amazed her that they were still together. She still got that bubbly feelings when he called or texted her. Parts of her want to move forward; one of them to move so they could be closer together. However, the bigger part of her wanted to run. She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted. She wanted Will but she wanted her freedom. JJ wanted that freedom where she knew that she wasn't going to get hurt.

JJ put her phone away but as soon as she did. It started to vibrate again. She rolled her eyes because she assumed that it was Will. He had this annoying habit of calling after he would text something. At first she found it cute and enduring but now it kind of annoyed her. When she mentioned that it kind of bothered her, Will toned the calling after texts a bit. He still did it but only every now and then.

When she pulled her phone out again, she was surprised to see that it wasn't Will but Renee. That puzzled her. Renee rarely ever called her and when she did call her, it wasn't during working hours. When Renee did call it was normally to set up dinner nights. They weren't close but Renee respected that she saw Reid as a younger brother. Renee wanted to keep JJ included as much as possible. JJ flipped open her phone and pressed her ear against it.

"Jareau." She stated in her normal manner. She pushed open the glass doors of the BAU and noticed that only Morgan and Prentiss were there. Hotch wasn't back which she found odd. Today was to be his first day back and yet, in a very unHotch like manner, he wasn't there. She bit her lip and sighed. Reid wasn't even there, nor Gideon.

"Hey JJ, it's Renee." JJ could hear the worried tone in her voice. JJ stopped before she reached the stairs. Something was wrong and JJ began to worry. "JJ is Spencer at work. He was supposed to meet Gideon last night and he never came home. He isn't answering his phone and I'm kind of freaking out here!" JJ paused. Reid not showing up was never a good thing. Ever since he "recovered", he was always on time. She didn't see Reid but that didn't mean that he wasn't in the building.

"I haven't seen him but we have a briefing soon. He should be here. I will give you a call when I find him." JJ stated and she could hear Renee breath a sigh of relief. JJ headed up to Gideon's office and opened the door. Reid was there, fully dressed and completely passed out in one of the chairs. A chess board was sitting in front of him.

JJ walked over to him and leaned down. She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook it gently. "Spence." He didn't budge. She shook him again, only harder this time. Reid stirred and looked up at JJ. He was confused and JJ could tell that he was hardly awake. It took him a minute to realize where he was. JJ could see his shoulder's shrink and a despondent look overcome his features. "You might want to call Renee, she is freaking out..."

Strauss was an unbearable tyrant. She was single handling ruining their case. It didn't matter that innocent women were getting their hearts carved out of their chest, all that mattered was that they follow her rules and her guidelines only. It wasn't hard to understand not only the police station's frustration with the section chief, but the agents as well. They were used to having free rein but instead they had to listen to her and follow her every move.

Besides watching his step and making sure he didn't do anything that ignited Strauss's wrath, Reid was worried. He felt that his brain was split into three parts. One part was focusing on this case and saving other innocent women from getting their hearts cut out. The second was focused on not pissing off Strauss, which was a lot harder than it looked. The third was worrying over Gideon.

Never before had Gideon missed one of their chess games. He had been distant since Sarah's murder, something Reid expected but never before was he avoiding him. Reid called him on several occasions, went to his apartment (where he learned never went anymore) and even went to the lengths of calling his son, Stephen. Nothing prevailed. It was like Gideon had disappeared completely and that worried Reid.

Reid knew that if he ever needed Gideon, he would be there and he just wished that Gideon would spare him the same courtesy. He knew that this mentor needed help and someone to lean on but instead of asking for help Gideon was avoiding everyone. Reid didn't like that. Gideon was like a father to him and Reid felt as though he was his son in many ways.

Now, leaning up against the brick wall outside the police station, listening to Strauss complaining to someone on the phone. She didn't pay any attention to the fact that he was standing five feet away from her, she was just furious at the fact that both Prentiss and Hotch decided to come on this case. It didn't matter that Hotch helped her when she saw the newest body.

Reid looked at his phone again and sighed. He called Gideon once again but he didn't pick up just like the other sixty some times he had tried calling. He kept replaying Hotch's words over in his head. Perhaps Gideon did go to the cabin. If he did, there was a chance that he wasn't avoiding him. Perhaps he just didn't have cell service. That is what he was going to keep telling himself, so he could get through this case but the moment they landed, he was driving to the cabin. Reid turned when he heard the door open and Hotch came out.

"Reid, you alright?" Hotch asked. Reid couldn't explain how good it was to see him and Prentiss walk through that door. It was even worth to see Strauss's enraged face. Part of him felt guilty because he knew that Hotch and Prentiss could both be in some type of trouble for coming. Yet, he hoped that this case would convince them both to stay.

"Yeah, I'm just worried." Reid looked at Hotch with those puppy like eyes. He didn't really understand the effect those eyes have on people. He wasn't someone who manipulated others but those eyes could get him just about anything he wanted. When Hotch looked into those eyes, he melted. He could sense the worry that Reid had for Gideon. "I called him again and he didn't answer."

"He won't. If Gideon doesn't want to be found, then he wont be but if I had to guess he would be at his cabin, as I said before." Hotch paused and glanced up at Strauss. She was still on the phone but she was glaring at Hotch. He didn't know if it was because he was there or that she couldn't handle the field and she was beginning to realize that. Hotch knew that in her mind she would blame him for her failure. "Are you going to go?"

"As soon as we land I plan on driving up there." Reid stated and Hotch nodded. He already knew the answer. Reid was a genius but when in came to those he cared for, he could be predictable. It was an obvious thing, Hotch was tempted to drive up there himself but he knew that he was on rocky ground with Haley. He needed to go home and see his wife and son.

"Won't you go home and see Renee. JJ stated that you spent the night in Gideon's office. Renee called stating that she was worried." Hotch looked. He had overlooked and avoided Haley so many times and he knew that his marriage was rocky. He only hoped that it didn't happen to Reid. From what he understood, Reid and Renee were doing well, even with everything that had happened in the last year. Hotch was sure that Haley would have left him, if it were he who fell down that path.

"I'll call when we get on the jet. She will understand, if anything, she will insist on coming with me. Renee is strong willed like that." That made Hotch smile. He didn't know Renee very well but he thought she was a great fit for someone like Reid. She was not a social butterfly but she was not a push over either. Reid would sometimes give into things other people wanted but he could see Renee putting her feet down. That he thought would be good for Reid.

The two drove in Reid's old antique Volvo. Renee still felt uneasy to ride in the car but she knew that Reid loved the thing. She tried to get him to allow her to drive her car but relented when she noticed how worried he was. He needed all the comfort he could get. When he was on the jet and called her, she decided that she would meet him at the air strip and take him herself. Now, her car was sitting in a parking lot over night. She would have to go to Quantico with Reid in the morning but she was lucky that it was a weekend.

She had never been to his cabin. In fact, Renee stayed away from the woods as much as possible. Gran wasn't one to take her daughter or granddaughters camping for the weekend. She would rather spend it in a grand hotel with a spa. Later she would be very happy to take them shopping. If they wanted to go to the country, Gran had several friends who were more than willing to lend them their "vacation house" for a get away.

Being that Renee spent little time in the woods when she was a teenager, watching the trees pass by while Reid drove, made her a bit uneasy. Granted Nora made her watch several horror movies when she had her girls night the other day and for some reason, a good portion of them had scenes in the woods. Now, within the same week she finds herself in the woods.

Renee wasn't naive. She knew that her nerves could very well be because neither knew what they would find at this cabin. Gideon had been missing for several days and this was their last shot. She knew that there were three options that they could find. The first was that Gideon would be there. She didn't know how he would feel about them barging in on him when he obviously wants to be alone. The second was that he wouldn't be there at all. Third would be that Gideon decided to join Sarah.

Renee cringed. She couldn't even think the word "suicide". Her mother and father both committed that act. She found her mother's body in their bathtub when she was a young teen and both she and Reid watched her father take a gun to his own head. Suicide was something that put the very fear inside of Renee. She briefly wondered if something was wrong with her. She snapped from her thoughts when the cabin came into view.

She took in the scene when they stopped the old Volvo. There was no car in sight and the cabin lights were off. It was dark out and Renee could rule out the first option. So, either he was there are there would be a corpse waiting for them inside. Reid was walking slow. She knew that his thoughts were on the save wave length as her's was and he was scared just as she was. When they reached the porch Reid froze at the bottom. Renee stepped up a couple of steps and held out her hand.

"I'll go in first." Reid took her hand and smiled gently. Renee guided him toward the old cabin door. It as unlocked and Renee couldn't help but feel that uncertainty. She opened the door slowly and was relieved not to smell anything other than wood and pine. Surly if Gideon was dead, they would smell something. "Gideon. It's Renee. Spencer and I are here to see you."

Nothing. Renee felt slightly ridiculous about yelling into what seemed to be an empty cabin. Reid brushed passed her gently and went over to a lamp to turn it on. There was nothing really to be seen. It was a nice cabin but there was no trace of Gideon there. Renee felt a stab of disappointment and relief all at the same time. She turned slowly and spotted three things on the table. A badge, a gun and a letter.

"Spencer." She placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned and she pointed. He paused before heading over to the table. He sat down in the chair and Renee walked over to stand behind him. The letter that was lying on the table had Reid's name written across it. She watched as he slowly opened the letter.

_Dear Spencer..._

Gideon drove and drove, leaving Rose behind in diner among other things. He knew that he should have explained better. He knew that leaving Reid that letter was a low blow because it was exactly how his father left. Yet, the thing about Gideon was that even though he could look serial killers in the eye, he was deep down a coward. He hid behind psychology and profiling instead of confronting his own fears and insecurities.

Now, instead of facing D.C and every memory he had of Sarah, Gideon was driving as far away as he could. He wanted to be better and he knew that running in many ways was a mistake. However part of him felt as though this was his only option. Knowing this, Gideon vowed that this would be his last mistake. He would in time rewrite all of his wrongs and make it up to those who he had scorned. He knew that Reid was one of those people.

Before he could get to Reid, he needed to start at the beginning. He needed to write the wrongs of the person who he hurt the most. Reid's time would come just not then. It may take years but Gideon truly believed that he would one day earn his forgiveness. He didn't want to abandon him, but he had no other option. He simply couldn't face Sarah's ghost anymore. He tried, he really did.

Gideon kept on driving. It was mindless really. It was true when he told Rose that he had no idea where he was going. It was until he started really driving that he decided that he was going somewhere particular. He knew that if he was ever going to find peace he needed to start at the beginning. He needed to start before the BAU and before serial killers really entered his life.

He met Sarah in college. However, they were never involved in college. It wasn't until she began nursing in D.C that they became an item. They both had been through a failed marriage and each had children. They both built successful careers and they were different people than they were in college. When they were in college, they both were involved with different people and they each ended up marrying those people.

Gideon's ex-wife, Laura, never supported his decision to join the BAU. She didn't want to be a profilers wife. Laura couldn't handle the long hours and the time away. She couldn't handle his missing out on parts of their son's, Stephan's life. Eventually, she gave up and filed for divorce while Gideon was out of town. He was served in another state, far away from his family. The sad thing about it was that when the papers came, Gideon was relieved.

It took twelve hours before he reached Colorado. His ex-wife had moved there when her new husband had gotten a job out there. She took Stephen and Gideon rarely saw him after that. He decided that if he was going to make up for all his wrong doings, he needed to start with Stephen. He knew that Stephen was still in Colorado because he was attending the state university. He was proud of his son and wished that he would have expressed that more.

So, Gideon started driving and for the first time since Sarah's death, he smiled. He picked up his speed and headed farther down the road. He finally was going after the peace he craved, he finally was on his road to redemption.

The apartment was cold and unwelcoming. Renee opened the door with a creek and let Reid going in before her. He was still fingering Gideon's badge and gun. The letter was unwrinkled in his breast pocket. He was quiet and didn't say a word on the drive back. Renee demanded she drive and he let her. That was odd because she was terrified of driving his old Volvo and he knew that. He always drove when they took that car but this time, he didn't think he would be able to.

Renee threw the car keys into the dish that sat on the table beside the door. It was as though Reid was a zombie. During the car ride, Reid had reread that letter over and over again. There were so many times when Renee wanted to say something but didn't. She was scared for him because she was unsure how he would react.

She knew how much Gideon meant to him. He was like his father in many ways. Gideon was so much more than a mentor to Reid. Renee was scared because of the fact that he left a letter. Reid's biologic father left him a note saying that he weak and couldn't deal with his mother anymore. Reid never saw him again and she knew that this was very similar to how he was left by his father.

"Spencer, do you want to talk about it?" Renee asked. She walked toward him and put her hand on his shoulder briefly but he shook it off. Renee sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't like how he was acting but she knew he needed time to adjust.

"Not really."

"Spencer, Gideon wasn't well and wasn't able to move on. Maybe him leaving was the best thing for him." She wanted to be able to believe the best in everyone. She wanted Gideon to leave for some noble reason and not something selfish. She agreed that he wasn't the best person while Reid was under his addiction but that didn't mean she didn't like the guy. She liked who he was to her fiancee.

"Then why not just tell me. I would understand if he needed to leave! But why not tell me? Why just leave it in a letter?" Reid's voice grew louder and louder with each passing words. He was angry and she couldn't really blame him.

"I don't know baby. I really don't." With that Renee went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. She knew that this always made him feel better. All she wanted to do was make his pain go away. "Did the letter say were you can reach him?" She knew the answer. She didn't read the letter but she really didn't have to. If Gideon would have left any type of number that he could be reached at, then Reid might be as hurt. However, by the tone of his voice, she knew that he didn't.

"No. Nothing. This isn't even a goodbye. It's just excuse after excuse." He pulled out the letter again and flopped down on the couch. Renee poured him a cup of coffee and added the ridiculous amount of sugar before taking it to him in the living room. She sat it down on the coffee table and then took the seat on the old antique sofa beside him.

"He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't ask for Sarah's murder. I just don't think he could handle the pain anymore." She wasn't really trying to stand up for Gideon because she agreed that it was the cowardly way to go but her main goal was to ease Reid's pain.

"If he didn't do anything wrong, then why do I feel like the injured party?" Reid shot her a look. It was that look of an injured puppy. His eyes were moist and Renee knew that he was on the verge of crying. Many people would think that Reid would be an easy person to make cry or upset but he wasn't. Renee rarely saw him shed a tear in the two years they had been theatergoer. He was the strongest person she knew and the unlikely hero.

"Gideon looked at you like a son, you know that right?" Renee placed her hand on his knee and squeezed. He placed his hand over top of hers. He felt her ring press into the palm of her hands. He bit his lip and she knew that something was playing around in his head. "What is it?"

"You said 'looked'. Past tense." It was in the moment that Renee realized that he was mourning Gideon. Even though Gideon was alive and breathing, Reid felt more as though he had died. It was as though they did find Gideon's body and he did commit suicide. Reid knew that he would never see his mentor again.

Renee leaned in a kissed Reid on the lips. It was light and gentle. He knew that it was for comfort and that was what he needed right now. He deepened the kiss and Renee responded eagerly. Her arms wrapped around him and she pressed herself to him. He laid her down on the couch and covered her body with her own.

It wasn't long before all of their articles of clothing were shed. They were joined together and it was sloppy. Renee bumped her arm against the coffee table while Reid kicked the end table with his feet causing the lamp to crash to the floor. When they both reached their release, Reid sagged his head against her shoulder.

"Well, that sucked." Renee stated and for the first time in several days, Reid laughed. He laughed so hard that he fell off of Renee and landed on his backside on the living room floor. That didn't stop his laughter. He kept laughing till his insides hurt. After he was able to breathe and calmed down. Reid sat up and looked at Renee. She was lying on her side watching him with an amused smile. Her eyebrow was raised in amusement. "Feel better?"

"Some. Not one hundred percent though." Reid leaned in and kissed her lips. When they broke apart, he leaned up and kissed the spot where she bumped her head against the coffee table. They rested their heads against each other. After a moment, Reid spoke again. "That bad huh?"

"Pretty bad."

"I have to admit, we have done better." Reid was smiling lightly. He felt better but he knew in the morning, that everything would come crashing back. Gideon was gone and soon the entire team and bureau would be informed. A meeting would be held, most likely early. It wouldn't be easy and it would take time.

**A/N: Yes. I suck. I know. I have plenty of excuses why this update hasn't come sooner but...I don't feel like explaining them. Sorry is the best I can do at the moment. I have exciting news! I am going England in THREE FREAKING DAYS. I'm excited! **


	3. Chapter 3

Something Old

Chapter Three

It was early and Reid was out cold. He was emotionally exhausted. Renee turned to look at the clock which read four-thirty in the morning. She didn't know what was going to happen over the next few months, only that it was going to be difficult. It would take Reid awhile to really be able to get over Gideon's departure.

She turned over and felt her engagement ring press against the mattress. Reid told her that he was going to tell Gideon about their engagement that night over chess but Gideon never showed. He would never know about their happiness and she couldn't help but wonder if he would have really been happy for them. Personally, she thought that he would be to blind by Sarah's murder to really feel their joy. Perhaps it was for the best that Gideon left.

She would never upon pain of death tell Reid that, at least not for awhile. She knew that his pain would last awhile. Renee turned on her back to face him. Even though he was asleep, she could still see the worry lines etched in his face. She traced them lightly and the gentle feel of her touch only caused Reid to move his head slightly. He didn't even wake and that pleased her. She knew that he needed his sleep. If the team wasn't only getting back into the bureau good graces, she would insist that he take a personal day on Monday.

However, now that Gideon was gone and Strauss was finally backing off (at least they hoped so) enough to let the team breath, she knew that the team needed Reid there first thing Monday morning. The selfish part of her was glad that Gideon was gone. Renee felt guilty for feeling that but she knew that it was Gideon who was holding them back from expressing their good fortune. They told her family and Nora about their engagement and she also told her coworkers and boss about it and Reid even wrote to his mother and called Ethan yet, the team had no clue. She knew that it wouldn't be right away but within time, they would be able to shout it from the roof tops.

They had discussed before about when they would hold the wedding and they decided on late spring early summer. Not just because that the weather would be nice but because it would give them some time to plan. They were planning for something small. They didn't want a huge amount of guest, seeing how most of Renee's Gran's family refused to speak with them because of her Gran's actions as a young teen and Reid didn't having any family besides the team. They were debating on whether or not to have the wedding in D.C were they lived or in Vegas. It would be easier that way for Reid's mother to come if it was held in Vegas but it less convenient for everyone else.

Renee was going through those basic wedding plans in her mind when she heard Reid's phone go off. She waited a few seconds but Reid wouldn't move. She sat up and got out of bed, taking the sheet with her. Reid wouldn't miss it because he always kicked the covers off in the night, claiming that he gets warm when he sleeps. She walked quietly around the bed to the bed-stand on his side of the bed. Renee had thought about simply reaching over him to get the phone but didn't want to wake him. She picked up the phone and saw that the caller ID read "Hotch".

Renee walked over to the banister and sat down on the steps. She glanced over at Reid, who was still asleep before answer the phone. She pulled the sheet closer to her, feeling naked as she answered the phone to Reid's boss. Even though she knew that he couldn't see her, it was still awkward talking to the man naked.

"Hello?" She answered and was surprised about how awake her voice sounded. Renee had thought that it would be clouded with sleep. However, it sounded as though she had been awake for hours and doing everyday things instead of sitting naked on the steps planning her wedding that Hotch knew nothing about.

"Ms. Huggins? Is Reid there?" Even though her voice sounded alert she could deny that Hotch's voice was the exact opposite. It sounded as though Hotch had been through hell. She didn't know him well, outside the fact he was her fiance's boss and that he was married with a little boy. Out of all the team members, Hotch held himself farther from the group because of his position on the team.

As of late, Reid had come home saying that it seemed that Hotch was stressed more so than normal. Being the profiler that he is, he assumed that it was because something was going on with his personal life, leading him to believe that Hotch was having issues with his marriage. They knew it wasn't because of work. If something was wrong at the office, the team would eventually know about it seeing that Hotch was good at keeping them informed. It was always Gideon who withheld things. Seeing that Hotch never informed them of some type of issue they faced, so that led Reid to believe that it was Haley Hotchner who was causing the stress. Renee briefly wonder if she would ever become like Haley after she married Reid. She shook her head, no she would never allow it.

"He is asleep. Do you want me to wake him?" Renee didn't want to wake him but she knew that Reid would be upset if he wasn't able to speak with Hotch.

"No. Let him sleep for a bit longer. Just tell him he needs to be at the office by six." Hotch's voice was gruff and strained. Renee felt a deep surge of pity for him. She wasn't exactly sure if the source of his pain was because of his wife or a mixture of things but she knew that no one deserved to sound the way he did.

"But it's Saturday."

"I know Ms. Huggins and I apologize for the inconvenience but Reid needs to be here at six. It won't take long before he is home."

"Its not a case then?"

"No, it is not." Renee was amazed. Never before had Hotch been that talkative about work before. Normally he would say something along the lines of not being able to share information. Perhaps it was because he was tired and his guard was down. Whatever the reason was, Renee decided to press her luck.

"I hope you don't mind me asking but is this about Gideon? Is he leaving?" When Hotch didn't respond, Renee pressed forward. "The reason I ask is because I was with Spencer when he went up to the cabin. Nothing was there other than a letter along with his badge and gun. I need to know what I'm dealing with here agent Hotchner. I need to know what Spencer is walking into." After a few seconds, Hotch responded.

"Gideon sent his resignation to our supervisor. A copy was on my desk when I arrived at the office this morning." That settled it for Renee. Gideon was gone for good and whatever Hotch wanted to say at the BAU meeting in the morning, had to do with the empty spot on the team. Renee turned her head and looked at Reid's sleeping form. With that they hung up the phone and Renee moved to wake Reid.

It was early. Much earlier than any of the team members were used to being at the BAU. JJ checked her watch and sighed. She hoped that this meeting wouldn't take long because she had a plane to catch. It was her weekend to visit Will. She was anxious to seem him. She was tired and with the strain of Strauss being on this last case, she could really use the comfort. JJ allowed her eyes to travel along her fellow team members.

Garcia seemed nervous. She always got nervous when something unexplained and unexpected happened to her team. She viewed them as her family. Something was wrong and she could sense it. The technical part of her wanted to go to her trusted computers and find out what it was. She didn't do well with suspense and it surprised even her that she was in the field that she was in.

Morgan yawned and was annoyed. His fingers tapped impatiently against the table. He was glad that both Prentiss and Hotch were back with the team for good but he didn't appreciate being dragged out of bed, early in the morning on a Saturday. His plans for the day were to sleep before heading out to the construction sight of his latest house he was flipping. That and he needed to call his mom. He really hadn't done that in a few days and Fran Morgan worried.

Prentiss's head was down. She had spent the better part of being reinstated back into the BAU celebrating, alone in her apartment. Her head pounded and she groaned. She had thought that she would have been able to sleep off her hangover, like she did any other time she drank to much. However, she wasn't counting on being called into the BAU on a Saturday morning. She shouldn't have been surprised, since the BAU was never predictable.

Reid was sitting beside them all, his leg bouncing. He knew exactly what this meeting was about. He was the only member who knew that Gideon was gone. It was still hard for him to adjust to something so drastic. He felt as though Gideon had died more so than simply left. It was as though there was no trace of him anywhere. He glanced around the room at his team members and he could tell that they were somewhat curious even though they had other things they needed to do.

They all but jumped when Hotch entered. They looked him over and they all noticed that he was wearing the exact same suit from the night before. It hung off him and was wrinkled as though he had slept in it. Yet, they all knew he didn't sleep because of the bags under his eyes. Hotch was stressed. He went over to the empty chair that was pushed into the round table but didn't sit down. He placed his hands on the chair and sighed before he continued.

"I must thank you for coming in so early on your day off. I a sure you that I won't take much of your time." The team stiffened. While Hotch was the leader of their team and had to be formal, he was never _that _formal. They all sat up straighter. Whatever it was that Hotch wanted to discuss with them was of importance. There could be no denying that. "It is my greatest regret to say that Gideon turned in his registration. He is no longer with the unit."

A bomb could have gone off and none of them would have moved. The shock radiated through them all. Gideon was an important figure in their team, not to mention that he was one of the best profilers there was out there. Beyond all of that, he was part of their interesting family. He would be greatly missed. They all were wondering what would happen to their team.

Of course Hotch's eyes were fixed on Reid. The boy didn't seem surprised. Although, given the nature of their relationship, it would surprise Hotch if Gideon had let the young genius know that he was leaving. It would have had to been recently because not only twenty-four hours ago, Reid was worried about Gideon. Then again, twenty-four hours ago Haley had taken their son out of their marital home. Everything can change in twenty-four hours.

"That is all for today. I expect you all back here first thing Monday morning. Reid, can I have a moment?" Reid nodded, not looking at anyone. It was obvious that the rest of the team were giving him solemn looks. JJ even placed her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze but none of them spoke to him. After the team left conference room, Hotch sat down beside Reid. "Reid I have to ask, did you know if Gideon was leaving?" He knew that answer but he felt that he needed to ask. It wasn't protocol to ask these questions but he was the team leader and needed to know how everyone was going to be affected. Reid was the closest to Gideon and thus needed most of his attention.

"I found out last night." Reid looked down at his hands. Outside of Renee, he wasn't very good at expressing his emotions, let alone to Hotch. Gideon really was one of the very few people who he could really talk with. "Renee and I went up to his cabin. You suggested that he liked to go there when he needed to clear his head. When we got there, he wasn't there but he left his badge and gun along with his letter."

"I will need his badge and gun. I have to turn it into Strauss." Hotch stated. He knew that Reid would have liked to keep those items for sentimental reasons and if it were up to him, he would have let Reid keep them. However, the team was already on shaky ice and they needed to follow the line till the letter. Reid nodded.

"I have them at home. I can bring them back in later today if th-" Hotch held up his hand. Frankly, he was going to go to Jessica's house to see if he could convince Haley to come back home and didn't want to enter the office again until Monday. That and he felt Reid should spend the remainder of the day with Renee.

"Monday morning will be soon enough Reid."

"Would you like to read the letter? I have that with me." Reid reached in to pull the letter out but Hotch stopped him.

"No. That is your personal property and none of my business. Gideon gave a reason as to why he left the unit. It is good enough for the bureau and it is good enough for me." With that Reid looked down again and Hotch sighed. He stood and gathered his brief case. Reid pulled out the letter and figured it. Hotch simply watched him. The young man looked as though someone had died instead of leaving a job. Then, Renee's voice from that morning on the phone echoed in his mind. She knew something he didn't. Something that would cause Reid great pain by the way Gideon. While he was curious and was tempted to ask, he had bigger and more personal issues to deal with. "I'll see you on Monday Reid." With that Hotch left the conference room and left Reid to read that letter once again, even though he had memorized every line.

The case was an unusual one. Everyone died differently and yet dumped in the same place. Reid and Prentiss walked down a crowded street. It was awkward and Reid had been distracted since before the case started. Everyone knew it was because of Gideon. JJ insisted to let him be and that he would deal with it on his own. However, Prentiss didn't like that advice. Didn't they leave him alone after Georgia? Looked how that turned out. No. She was going to talk about this because he needed to talk about it. Hotch would talk about it because in many ways, that was crossing the boundaries between supervisor and his employee. Morgan was too close and Garcia was just, not easy to talk about feelings with. JJ pushed everyone away and wouldn't really listen. Prentiss was close enough but impartial enough to be a good shoulder to lean on.

"So Hotch is now even more intense now that Gideon is gone." She stated with something obvious. It was no secret that Hotch's demeanor had changed and some had to guess that there was more to the story. Yet, it was an easy scapegoat to start the conversation she wanted to talk about.

"Yeah. I've noticed." Reid stated lightly. Prentiss stopped and turned to face him. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have walking. She wanted to be able to focus competently on his face.

"Do you think that is going to change?" Reid stopped and turned to meet her gaze. He shrugged. He really didn't know the answer. He observed his boss's behavior but he wasn't the only one whose behavior was different. Garcia wasn't as cheery but eventually got her cheer back. Morgan didn't tease and joke as much but it wasn't long before he was doing that again. Slowly things would get back to normal and felt that within time, Hotch would to. He wasn't so sure about himself.

"I certainly think we will find out." Prentiss had to smile. It was such a diplomatic answer. Being the child of a diplomat, she knew a professional when she saw one. It wasn't surprising given Reid's past. He had to be one of those people who had to lie and give out those types of answers to be able to survive. If he didn't, he would have been able to care for his mother as he did for all those years.

"What about you?" Prentiss asked. Perhaps it was the best just to get to the point. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm-I'm great." His response was quick and defensive. He stiffened and she could tell that he was uncomfortable. To anyone else, he might have seemed okay but she was a profiler and she could tell that he wasn't being truthful. She sighed and looked at him. He knew that she wasn't buying what he was selling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" There. The offer was on the table and it was up to him to take the bait. She couldn't force him to talk but he needed to know that someone was willing to listen. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. No one, outside of Renee and Ethan, was there for him while he was suffering from the incident in Georgia. He was dealing with something and needed support. Prentiss was willing to give him that.

"Whats there to talk about really?" He shrugged and looked over her shoulder. He wasn't able to make eye contact for the fear of being seen as weak.

"Gideon." She pushed.

"Oh!" He stated as though it wasn't obvious. "No. He uh, he left a letter explaining everything. Just like my dad did when he abandoned me and my mom." There it was. The wound. She knew that it ran deeper than simply Gideon. While it took some probing, he spilled what was bothering him easily. He needed to talk to someone. She gathered he and Renee have been through this but Prentiss wasn't Renee and didn't have as much of an emotional attachment to Reid. If Reid was hurting then Renee was hurting and visa versa. However, Prentiss was able to take a step back.

"He addressed it to you?"

"Yeah, yeah." Reid bit his lip and was getting slightly angry. Not at Prentiss but at Gideon, his father and just about anyone who had abandoned him at one point or another. "You know, Gideon stood toe to toe with some of the sickest people on this planet." Reid paused and Prentiss didn't speak, she was waiting for him to continue because he wasn't finished. "I think that took a lot of courage, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why did he do this?" Reid pulled out the letter that was folded and wrinkled. He obviously read it several times. "Its addressed to me but I'm not the only one he abandoned." Reid handed her the letter but she didn't take it. Instead she pushed his hand away and back toward himself.

"Why is it addressed to you?" He just looked at her in confusion. "I think you need to read that letter again."

"I have an eidetic memory Emily." With that Prentiss couldn't help but roll her eyes. While his genius skills were something she loved about him, now wasn't the moment she needed to be reminded about it.

"I know and an IQ of a 187 but what do you remember about your father?" Reid shook his head, causing his chocolate locks to move about his face. He pushed out his lips in a way that caused Prentiss to smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he gave you ten good years before he left and yet you've erased all those memories and its too painful, I get it but then Gideon leaves." She paused and looked at his face. She could tell that he was thinking. "I think you need to read that letter again and ask yourself why of all the people he walked away from did he only explain himself to one person. You." With that Prentiss turned and began walking but Reid remained still. When she realized that Reid wasn't with her, she stopped and turned. Reid was still fingering that letter. "Reid?"

"I didn't get to tell him." Prentiss walked back and crossed her arms. Reid looked at her and she indicated to him that she was listening. "That night when I went to play chess in his office, Gideon hadn't been back to his apartment since Sarah's murder, I went there because I was going to tell him that Renee and I are getting married."

With that, Prentiss's demeanor lifted. She smiled widely and flung herself at Reid, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Reid was shocked. Prentiss wasn't someone who shook people's hands let alone hugged him. He patted her on the back awkwardly. She let him go but he could see the happiness etched on her face.

"Congratulations! When did you ask?" She imagined that it was recent. She didn't think anyone else knew because she didn't hear anything about it. If Garcia knew, it would have been shouted from the roof tops and Morgan would have teased him mercilessly. JJ and Hotch would have given him their heartfelt congratulations. No, if he would have said anything to anyone else, she would have heard about it.

"She asked me. Apparently I was taking to long." With that Prentiss threw her head back and laughed. Reid was embarrassed and blushed. He didn't want Morgan to learn about that because he would never hear the end of it. "We got engaged the night of Sarah's murder. Before we got the call." That sobered Prentiss up.

"Reid. That was weeks and weeks ago. Why haven't you told anyone yet?" Prentiss asked and he shrugged.

"We felt that we needed to give Gideon some time. We didn't feel right rubbing our happiness while he was mourning Sarah. It didn't feel right. However, we felt that enough time had passed and I was going to tell Gideon that night we were going to play chess. But he never showed." Prentiss sighed and reached out to place her hand on his forearm. She gave him a gentle squeeze.

"He would have been happy for you."

"I'm not so sure."

"He would have been." With that Prentiss decided to link her arm through his and pull him forward. "Come. We have a case to solve and a serial killer to catch. After that I will come to your apartment to have a glass of wine with you and Renee to celebrate your engagement." With that Reid smiled. Renee would enjoy that.

"That sounds nice." The walked a little while and Reid looked at Prentiss. "Can I ask you for a favor?" She nodded, indicating that he could. "Don't tell anyone. Renee and I need to talk about announcing it to the team. Like I said, I was going to tell Gideon before we told the rest of the team. Now that is out of the window and we need to discuss it. You know, on how to break the ice." She smiled at him and nodded. Reid seemed so shy and nervous to ask that of her.

"Of course Reid. No problem. Not at all." With that, the two of them moved forward. The case was solved shortly after that and Prentiss did indeed have that glass of wine. However, it was still unsure how they were going to tell the rest of the team but Renee wouldn't lie and say she wasn't relieved to have someone on his team know about their pending marriage.


	4. Chapter 4

Something Old

Chapter Four

Harper was resting on the bed in the hotel room. Dean left about forty five minutes before to grab something for them to eat. They had been in D.C only for a few short days and learned what their favorite places were to eat. However, the two of them didn't come from Vegas to D.C simply for the food. No, Harper needed to find redemption before her illness took her life. She knew she was dying and that she wouldn't be around for very much longer.

Yet, she was a coward. She wasn't afraid of dying. In fact, she was all but ready for it. She didn't want to leave Dean behind but she knew that he would find someone else to love. He would move on and that was the only thing she could really bring herself to accept. However, besides leaving Dean behind, she was terrified of never finding forgiveness. She had Reid's home address and she knew where he worked but she was too much of a coward to really go to his home.

It amazed her with what he was doing with his life. She and everyone from their graduating class expected him to make millions by curing cancer or inventing some life changing technology. It was one of the reasons why people back in Vegas and their high school hated him. They all were jealous of him because he would become something were as most wouldn't do anything with their own lives. It didn't help matters when he got accepted to Cal-Tech and among other prestigious schools; Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Dartmouth, MIT were just among the many. It was even rumored that most were willing to pay for his entire schooling.

However, Reid didn't do anything that was expected of him. He went to Cal-Tech, that she knew but as most people do, Harper lost track of him once her own life began to take over. While she suffered from all that guilt, it was bearable to deal with. She would just imagine that he would move past what had happened that night on the football field. When she had gotten sick, one of the first realizations was that she wouldn't be able to make amends. Then suddenly making things right became her newest obsession. Dean thought she was crazy. To him, it was a high school mistake but to her it was so much more.

When she tracked him down and learned what he became it amazed her. A profiler. She only knew what that was because of the movie "Silence of the Lambs". Seeing how frightening that movie was to her, she could not imagine the twelve year old boy she went to high school with doing such a job as going after a serial killer like Hannibal Lecter. She saw photos of him however, to her she still imagined that young boy who because of her suffered the worst experience that a child should not have to endure.

Harper shook her head. She didn't want to think about that night. She thought about it several times and she knew that she would have to think about it more once she gathered enough courage to confront Reid. She was terrified and didn't know if he would be able to forgive her. It was a prospect that she knew was possible, she couldn't go to her grave without trying.

It was decided. She would go to his apartment and simply knock on his door. It would take him by surprise she knew that but it was the only plan she could come up with. She simply couldn't walk into his office. It was the FBI and no one simply walked into the FBI. That and if she called him, he could just hang up on her. No, going to his home was really her only option. She believed that he was still at the same address, for she had no reason to believe that he moved. There was the chance that he wouldn't be home and if he wasn't, she would just have to come back later.

The door to the hotel room opened and it snapped Harper out of her musings. Dean came back with a pizza in his hand. She sighed. She felt guilty again for dragging him here. He had to take some time off work but it was lucky that he was able to do so. He ran a blog for a local newspaper back in Vegas. His editor said it was all fine and dandy as long has Dean kept up with his normal correspondence. It was lucky for him that his editor was somewhat of a bleeding heart.

"I got double cheese with onions and pepperoni. They also had these bread stick things I wanted to try. I hope you're hungry." Dean stated as he kicked the door shut. He placed the food on the small round table in the room and pulled out one of the chairs to plop down into.

"I'm not that hungry actually."

"To bad. You're eating." Dean said with a glare. With Harper's health failing everyday, her appetite was off. She didn't eat as much. If it wasn't for Dean making her eat, she might have given up the notion all together. "What are you thinking so hard about over there?"

"Deciding when I should pay Spencer a visit." Harper stated in a whisper. Dean looked at her with sympathy. She had been fretting over this since they boarded the plan. He told her that they could stay for as long as they needed for her to work up the courage and achieve Reid's forgiveness. Dean fully believed that she would be able to gain forgiveness. He didn't believe that she really did anything wrong seeing that she wasn't actually on the football field when the incident happened.

"That is your choice and I will be by your side." Dean stated as though it was obvious. He understood that she needed to make this journey and he planned to be there every step of the way. He would hold her hand and walk her through it if need be.

"No Dean, I think that I want to do this alone." Dean gave her a sharp look and Harper rolled her eyes. He was overly protective and while she loved him, it got annoying sometimes. He was not always so protective, when they first got together he was like any normal boyfriend. However when she got sick, he was thrown into protective overdrive. "Its Spencer, he isn't going to hurt me."

"He works for the FBI. He carries a gun. I'm not sure he likes you." Dean paused and it was obvious the worry that was etched into his face. He loved Harper and knew that he was going to lose her sooner than he expected. He was going to hold onto her for as long as he possibly could. He sighed, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle. Harper would get her way, one way or another.

"Exactly! He works for the FBI, meaning he can't simply go around shooting innocent civilians, even if he doesn't like them." Harper shot him and pointed look and Dean held up his hands. He was surrendering. He knew that Harper was determined and that anything he could say would go in one ear and out the other.

"Fine. But take your cell phone with you." Harper nodded and smiled. That was a compromise that she could live with.

Reid leaned back on the jet ride back from Denver. He looked around on the jet and watched his team. He still felt the loss of Gideon. It was odd, being a team member down. They knew that there would be a replacement soon. He just didn't know how he would feel with someone coming in and taking his mentors place. The new profiler would of course, take the office space and ease in to filling that role. Reid knew he had to accept it and he would but it would be an adjustment. He and Renee had talked about it and Renee told him that he couldn't expect this person to fill Gideon's shoes.

Reid of course didn't understand her meaning. It took her a moment before she fully was able to explain it. She thought that perhaps Reid might try and look toward this new person the way he did Gideon. Reid denied it but Renee shot him a look stating that she clearly didn't believe him. They let the subject drop but they both knew they would have to revisit it at a later time.

Of course there was the matter of telling the team of their engagement. Other than Prentiss, no one knew that they were engaged. JJ of course was told that he was thinking about it but didn't know that he had actually asked her. He felt guilty from not telling them but they never felt it was the right time. He didn't just want to blurt it out but with Gideon leaving, the team didn't really have a chance to slow down. They were picking up extra work for the missing team member.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Hotch sat down across from him. Reid looked up and eyed his boss carefully. There were dark bags under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled. It was obvious that he was under great strain. They all were picking up for Gideon's absence but Hotch was taking on so much more of the burden than the rest of the team. He was their unit chief and it could be argued the it was his responsibility. However, he was going far beyond what was expected.

Then again, something Morgan had mentioned flashed into Reid's mind. Hotch has not mentioned Haley or Jack in a good while. Morgan thought that maybe there was trouble in their marriage. At first Reid thought Morgan was wrong but then he began to watch Hotch closer than normal. He used to call home to check on his wife and child but he no longer did that. On top of that, Hotch rarely left the office and his go bag was always securely placed by his desk, packed and ready.

Reid felt sorry for Hotch. He assumed that he was going through a hard time and it was another reason why he held back on announcing his and Renee's engagement. He didn't want to rub salt into his boss's open wound. He knew that Hotch would be happy for him and he was more than grateful for that. He shook his head, there was no use on thinking about it now. He needed to discuss it with Renee and they could tell them together, just as they had with her family and Nora. Renee had pointed out that the team was like his family and a major part of his life.

"What are you thinking about?" Hotch asked and once again, pulled Reid from his musings. He looked at his boss and saw everything that he was thinking about earlier. Hotch just looked so damn tired. Of course Reid wasn't in the position or had the energy to talk about everything with him. For one, he needed to discuss the engagement with Renee first and then he didn't want to bring up his suspicions about Hotch's family. It wasn't his place to do so.

"Gideon and who will replace him." Hotch nodded and Reid pushed on. "Has there been any developments?" Hotch shook his head and and sighed. It was easier when Elle left the team because Prentiss all but fell into their laps. She sought them and now, it was the other way around without one specific candidate.

"There are several applications, from inside the bureau and outside of it, from other agencies. Its a hard decision to make. Most are newer agents with little experience with profiling. We need someone experienced, yet those are few and far between." Hotch brought his thumb and pointer finger to his temples and rubbed as though he was getting a headache. Reid felt sympathy for him. He really did.

"Any look promising, at all?" Reid asked. He had to admit that he was curious. He wondered if filling the position would be able to make telling everyone so much easier. Of course, it would make just about everything easier. He was nervous, they all were. It always intense when someone new joined the team. It took Prentiss time to get accumulated and he certainly knew that it took him a very long time to be accepted among his peers at the FBI.

"A few." Hotch paused, and decided that he didn't really want to think about it until he reached the office. It was a constant pain to view file after file and profiling who would be a good addition to the team. Of course, each applicant brought something to the table. Each resume was perfected however, Hotch knew how to read between the lines. "How are things with you? How is Renee?"

Reid saw an opening to tell Hotch about his pending marriage but he decided against it. He wanted Renee to be there when they announced their news. He smiled at Hotch and he could see Hotch return it. However, it didn't reach his boss's eyes. It was hollow and lifeless. Reid felt guilty for how well his personal life was going at the moment. Other than Gideon leaving and Sarah's death, things have been going fairly well. He had been clean for several months and really hasn't tempted in a good while. Renee was proud of him but she couldn't be any prouder than he was for himself.

"She is good. Spending plenty of time with her sister, Hannah. Things are good." Reid stated and Hotch nodded. He was so tired that he didn't see that Reid was leaving things out. He knew that she was most likely at home, planning their wedding. They had a few things set up and knew about around the time when they would be getting married. Most likely, he would go home and Renee would tell him the date. The planning was really up to her and Reid only needed to show up.

There were of course a few things he had a say in. First, small. Neither wanted a big wedding and neither really had much family. To them, a small ceremony with dinner afterward seemed perfect for the two of them. Neither of them really liked to be the center of attention anyway. The second thing was that Reid wanted the wedding to be in Vegas. Not to elope or to be married by Elvis, but he wanted his mother to be able to attend. Diana Reid still didn't like flying and her doctors advised against it seeing how it would only create agitation. Thus, both Reid and Renee decided to bring the wedding to her.

"We haven't seen her around lately. Some of us were worried." Hotch stated. He looked at the young man who he admired. With his own marriage in shambles, Hotch worried about the state of everyone else relationship and seeing how Reid was the only one who admitted that they were in a stable relationship, Hotch chancing a glance at JJ, Reid was the only one he could really question. There was also a small part of him that feared that if Renee left him, he would fall back into bad habits.

"We've both been busy." Reid shrugged and Hotch nodded. Hotch once again rubbed his temples as though he was getting a migraine. Reid noticed that Hotch always seemed less cheerful on the way home from cases as of late. Normally, everyone was relieved to catch the bad guy and to go home to their respective lives. However, Hotch always seemed to dread it. It was another indicator to the team that something wasn't right but no one was brave enough to ask, so Reid thought he give it a try. "Are you okay Hotch?"

"Fine. Just a migraine." He replied.

"No, I mean, you've seemed kind of...off lately." Reid's voice trailed off in the end, hoping that his boss wouldn't take offense to his question. Hotch of course, looked at him and began a very similar battle that Reid was facing earlier. He could come clean and admit that Haley had left him, taking Jack with her. He knew Reid was trustworthy and would utter a word if Hotch asked him not to. However, he couldn't admit it because if he did, it would make it real.

"Just busy. Working to hard. That's all." Hotch stated and they let the subject drop.

Renee was looking over a bridal magazine that was open on her dining table. Her feet were curled under her and her hair pulled up in a messy bun on top of her hair. She had her mobile phone placed between her shoulder and her ear. Her best friend, Nora was on the line and they were discussing the wedding. It wasn't that Renee was a bridezilla or obsessed with her wedding, but it was something that needed attention. It wasn't something she focused all her time one and a good portion of it was done.

Reid and Renee had agreed on a hotel in Vegas that would work well. The pictures were lovely and the price was, higher than they had thought but seeing that it was small they would be able to swing it. The hotel would set the wedding up, hold a small reception afterward (meaning they would provide dinner) and a cake. They also would provide a room for the wedding night. It seemed that this sort of thing was done more often than not. They had a special program and everything for it. All that Renee really needed to do, was find attire for the small wedding party...that wasn't even set up yet.

Nora had agreed to be her maid of honor while Hannah was to be a bridesmaid. Reid stated that Ethan would be a groomsman and once they decided to tell the team, he was going to ask Morgan to be his best man. They also had to decide on a guest list but told the hotel that the guest list would not exceed twenty people. They honestly didn't believe that it would even reach that many people.

"So why is the wedding in Vegas again? Does Spencer have a weird Elvis fetish?" Nora asked through the phone. Both her and Renee's grandmother were dismayed that the wedding would not be held in D.C but instead across the country. Gran was even more upset that they wedding would not be in a church, more specificity, her church.

"No. He grew up there and it would be easier for his mother to attend if its in Vegas." Renee replied. She was irritated at her friend's reaction. Nora wasn't a fan of the desert but she could deal with it for a whole two or three days. "His mother is ill and can't fly." She added knowing that Nora would ask why his mother can't fly out there. One of the reasons why they were keeping the wedding small was because they couldn't ask two many people to fly out there. It would be obnoxious.

"Gotcha. Have you thought of a color theme?"

"No."

"What about the food?"

"The hotel is providing that."

"Oh, the cake too?"

"Yes." _Knock. Knock._ Someone was at the front door and Renee looked at it.

"Damn. Have you really thought about anything else? Like, what type of dress you want?" Nora asked and Renee sighed in irritation. While she was excited for her wedding, she really didn't like the planning of it. She knew that Nora would insist on going with her to find her dress, which was fine, but for some odd reason, she wasn't looking forward to it. She wanted to marry Reid more than anything, so why couldn't they elope? Oh, right, her grandmother would kill her. Along with Garcia and just about his entire team.

"No. Hey, someone is at the door, I think its my Chinese. Can I call you later?" Renee asked and Nora agreed. She hung up the phone and was grateful that the conversation was done with. It seemed that Nora was more excited about the planning than she was. She shook her head and walked over to the door. She looked through the peep hole and frowned. This wasn't the normal delivery person. She opened the door to see a small, pale, redheaded women standing in front of her. The woman's eyes grew wide and she seemed shocked.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I think I have the wrong apartment." The women pulled out a piece of paper and looked at it. Her eyebrows creased in confusion. It was obvious to Renee that this women was looking for someone and seemed to be lost. She felt pity for her and wanted to help.

"I've lived here for a bit and got to know the neighbors. Tell me who you are looking for and I might be able to point you in the right direction." Renee stated in the calm soothing voice she normally used for her young students. The women looked relieved and sighed. She lifted up her head and Renee was able to get a good look at her. The women was beyond pale. It was as though her face was sunken in and her cheek bones shown through her almost translucent skin. There were dark, black circles under her eyes and it was obvious that she wasn't well. She was thin and looked as though she could be snapped in half.

"I'm looking for Dr. Spencer Reid." The women stated and all thoughts of her sickly appearance flew out of her mind. Renee narrowed her eyes and suddenly grew suspicious of the young women. Not once had some strange women come looking for Reid. It wasn't that she was concerned about their relationship, but Reid had made several people unhappy in his line of work.

"Who are you?" The women was taken aback at the cold tone in Renee's voice. Before, she seemed pleasant and very kind. Now, it was like a switch had been flipped. This women looked as though she wouldn't believe anything she said. It bewildered her.

"I'm Harper Hillman." With that, Renee's posture stiffened even more. Harper could see her hand grip the door tighter and her knuckles turned pure white. This women was furious. She had no idea but it was as though she was protective of Reid. "Do you know Spencer?"

"I'm his fiance! What could _you _want with _him?" _Renee snapped and Harper was taken aback. She had no idea that Reid was engaged. She didn't even know he was in a relationship. Harper was genuinely shocked. When she came to the apartment, this was the last thing she expected to find. She looked at Renee and took in her appearance. She was in yoga pants and a simple tank-top. She was comfortable here, and pretty. She was a bit on the shorter side and her nose seemed to throw off the structure of her face. "Did you come here to strap him to a goal post again?"

"You know about that?"

"Or perhaps you came to blindfold him and make him strip in front of the entire senior class!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Harper was shocked. It was apparent that Reid had told his fiance about what happened out on the football field but she didn't know anything about her other accusation. When had Reid been blindfolded? She honestly had no idea. It must have been after the football field incident, when she broke from the rest of that crowd.

"I'm sure you don't." Renee snapped in disbelief. She wouldn't believe anything that came out of this woman's mouth. "What do you want?"

"I need to speak with him."

"Why?"

"I-"

"Look. I don't trust you and frankly, if Spencer saw you, it would bring up memories that he doesn't need to be thinking about right now. Give me one good reason why I should help you." Renee stated and began to tap her foot in annoyance. Dealing with this woman who caused her to want to punch her in her face.

"Is Spencer here?" Harper asked.

"No. I'm waiting."

"I'm dying." It was blunt and matter of fact. Renee was taken a back but masked her surprise quickly. She pursed her lips. While she was sad for her, for Renee was completely cold, but she still didn't like her. Yet, all of her grandmother's teachings were playing in her ear.

"How long?" Renee asked and Harper could see the concern in her eyes. Harper knew that this women wasn't cold and unfeeling. She obviously deeply loved Reid and Harper never thought that Reid would be in a relationship. It greatly surprised her.

"A few months, if that."

"I'm sorry." Renee meant that. It didn't matter her feelings about the girl but no one deserved to die as young as this woman seemed to be. "Okay, this is what I will do. Give me your number and where you are staying. When Spencer comes home I will give him the information. What he does with it, that's up to him."

"Okay!" With that Harper pulled open her small purse and pulled out a pen. "Do you have any paper?" With that Renee entered her apartment and reappeared with a small tablet. Harper took it and wrote down her information. "Thank you." Renee took the tablet and pursed her lips again.

"Don't thank me. It's Spencer's decision. If he wants nothing to do with you, I will back him on that." Harper nodded. "Good night." With that, Renee shut the door before Harper could say anything else.

**A/N: Okay, I know. I suck. Big time. I apologize and will try to be better. Can we talk about the last two episodes that aired? If you have no seen them you might not want to read this. **

**WTF! I loved Maeve! I thought she was cute and perfect for Reid. Plus, I loved the actress who played her. So when they killed her, I was in shock. Seriously, my jaw dropped and I was just...depressed. I think that they treat Reid horribly and he seems never to be able to catch a break. That is why I was happy that Reid got a girlfriend in the show. Then, they kill her! WTF! I mean, I get that they killed Haley, but Hotch got a few good seasons with her before hand..and then another love interest! JJ has Will and looks like nothing is happening there. Garcia has her on and off again relationship with Kevin and Morgan is just, well Morgan. Rossi could use some loving...and a new marriage to fail at. Even Blake has a doctor boyfriend over seas. Why does it seem that Reid just has the worst luck...ever?**

**Speaking of Blake, what do you think of her? She is growing on me. **


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